Songs for Grieving Those who are Still With Us

[Soot and Stars]

I have a request. I use music to channel my feelings. Honestly, though nothing is really written (that I know of) regarding what I'm going through. Most sad songs are about lost love but the intimate soulmate variety. If there is a song about losing a loved one it's about after they're gone. Is their any song about the grieving process of dealing with those who are here but are fading before our eyes. I don't mean breathing machines or anything but songs that deal with how people fade on us in our last years. Older friends will know my struggle with my grandmother. She's past. She's in peace. Now I have my grandfather who's struggling even more mentally. Grammy always had a light to her and was always a strong presence even in pain. My grandfather is miserable. He can show love and is loving but he can't be happy. He's developed mental OCDs (hot/cold), paranoia, guilt, depression and now he's really weak and falling and doesn't have the fight my Grammy did. Anyway, after having processed my grief with Grammy because I went through two years of it my wounds have been fresh with all the new situations. I had a dream with both her and my grandfather and the emotions are still clear to me even if the dialog isn't. In the end I felt she was sending optimism. It made me miss her more. I never dream anymore so it was odd. Anyway, certain lines in songs can grab me but the most of the song doesn't apply. I'm not the type to get catharsis just by listening to a favorite song of theirs. Is there a song that one can relate to this grieving process and the feel of hopelessness it can bring. I'd appreciate if something can help me process this. Peace!

 

[joker1961]

Hmmm like you music as always given me hope when all is hopeless, the song which seems to work for me are.
Help (Beatles)
Waking in your Footsteps (Police)
Entangled (Genesis)
Woman and Mother (John Lennon)
Little Wing and Angel ( Jimi Hendrix )
hope these may help you I`ll keep on added more once my brain cells kick in. I`ll also send you all my Peace, Understanding and Friendship...

 

[That 70s Guy]

 

[That 70s Guy]

 

[That 70s Guy]

 

[AboutAGirl]

I'm very sorry for your situation, Soot. My grandad just passed away last week, he was 100 years old. He stayed (relatively) healthy almost until the end, he only was delirious for 2 days before he passed.

I can think of songs about watching someone waste away as a junkie, but that clearly wouldn't console you. I'll give you what little I can I think of, though, in the offhand chance it might give the slimmest of solace.

Here's an Ani Difranco lyric that comes to my mind: "I think of my dad, who time travels mostly now. Back to when he was young, and holding out hope somehow. He sits all day in a line of wheelchairs against the wall, inventing ways to play out time. Like us all, like us all."



This is a grim one, I don't know that you'd actually want to listen to it at a time like this, but it seems reminiscent of what your grandad might be going through right now, and maybe it could help you process? I don't know.

 

[Johnny-Too-Good]

I feel your pain Soot. The death of both of my parents came after long drawn out periods, during which it was very difficult to communicate with them. This track, about absence, is obviously one which you will be familiar with, but it kind of conveyed my feelings in those circumstances.

 

[Metal Health]

I'm really sorry @Soot and Stars. I feel your pain. I've gone through stuff like that. Hang in there man. I'm going through similar things right now. It sucks but I've found it's better to focus on the memories, not the loss.

Don't know if this is the kind of song you want. This is a different approach but this helped me.

Ronnie Van Zant and Gary Rossington wrote this song right after both of their mothers passed away. So much feeling and heart in it.

 

[JerseyGirl]

I'm very sorry you are losing another grandparent Soots. I know it's very hard.

I don't have a song to add yet, but I will think about it and add something when I can.

 

[Jake T]

I'm including this song in this thread because I played this song for my Mother when she was dying of cancer and being Mother's Day, it reminds me of her.

Goodbye My Friend - Karla Bonoff




Here's what Karla said about writing the song.

"The song I wrote called 'Goodbye My Friend' was one I didn't really write for people to hear. I wrote it for myself, because I had lost a favorite pet. I was so upset and started writing it as a way to get all those feelings out. It has turned out to be a very cathartic song for people who have lost loved ones and that sort of surprised me. It also taught me not to edit myself. It's good to really do something purely for the sake of doing it."