Weirdest lyrics

[rtbuck]

Here are 2 of my ultra faves:

- Love comes in spurts by Richard Hell
I was a child
who wanted love that was wild
though tight as slow motion
but crazed with devotion

insane with devotion,
a whole other notion
I was fourteen and a half
and it wasn't no laugh

Love comes in spurts (oh no, it hurts!)
Love comes in spurts (oh no, it hurts!)
Love comes in spurts (it always hurts!)
Love comes in spurts (oh no!)

I just can't get wise
to those tragical lies
though I now know the facts
they still cut like an axe

baby, love comes in spurts
in dangerous flirts
and it murders your heart
they didn't tell you that part, baby!

Love comes in spurts (oh no!)
Love comes in spurts (oh no, it hurts!)
Love comes in spurts (oh no, it hurts!)
Love comes in spurts (it always!)

Love comes in spurts (oh no!)
Love comes in spurts (oh no, it hurts!)
Love comes in spurts (oh no, oh no, oh no!)
Love comes in spurts (it always hurts!)

- I saw an X-ray of girl passing gas (Butthole Surfers)
Ten foot tall and the nurse stuck a needle in my arm
Well Uncle Doc's nurse wields a needle with ungodly charm
Walkin' down the hall the dentist LOOMED through the door
I Saw an X-Ray of a girl passing gas
The one shot theory got a query things got rolling at last
Hey, HEY hey daddy, why die in the war
Jesus Hitler Buddha Santa Mary Klaus Barbie (Rice Bore?)
Well Ben got arrested and the sky was the ocean that day
Words got twisted and history didn't know what to say
God dog sex death life and now I'm feeling old
These images were conjured up by talking on the telephone
I Saw an X-Ray of a girl passing gas
Oh my God it seems like just the other day
But it might have been one hundred years before
And I know there is no other way
We only have to wonder what it's for

Great song & great lyrics! Richard Hell rerecorded the tune with the Voidoids after he left the Heartbreakers. Meanwhile Johnny Thunders & the Heartbreakers changed the lyrics to make it "One Track Mind"

 

[ladyislingering]

I'm too lazy for whole songs, but here's some few lines of lyrics that I've found to be pretty freaking weird.

"You look like you'd fit in the trunk of my car."
- Alice Cooper, "The One that Got Away"

"Every time you run around it makes me wanna pop."
- The Cars, "Think It Over"

"You mentioned Kant, and I was shocked, so shocked.
Where I come from, none of the girls have such foul tongues."
- Sparks, "Hasta Manana, Monsieur"

"Stick your head in the microwave,
and get yourself a tan."
- Weird Al, "Dare to be Stupid"

"I can make an exception,
if you wanna save my life.
Brigitte Bardot's gotta come
and see me every night."
- Elton John, "I Think I'm Gonna Kill Myself"

"Her little whiskers are stained
with the blood of those that she has slain."
- Lemon Demon, "Kitten is Angry"

"I went to high school and majored
in looking real bad
I've got a real ugly mum
and a real ugly dad."
//
"I went to Balboa Island
and laid in the sand,
I may be ugly as sin
but at least now I'm tan."

- Sparks, "I Wish I Looked a Little Better"

"And it's a teenage sadness
everyone has got to taste;
an in-between age madness
that you know you can't erase
'til she's sitting on your face."
- The Knack, "Good Girls Don't"

"Rippy the Gator went 'chomp, chomp, chomp'
passing the time by ending children's lives
down at the bottom of the swamp, swamp swamp."
- The Arrogant Worms, "Rippy the Gator"

"I'm Chief Kamanawanalea.
(We're the royal macadamia nuts!)"
- The Turtles

"I'm always touching myself.
I've got nothing else to do.
And when I'm touching myself,
I'm always thinking of you."
- Squeeze, "Touching Me, Touching You"

"I've got my lunchbox and I'm armed real well
[. . . . .]
so no one ****s with me!"
- Marilyn Manson, "Lunchbox"

"They scream until their neck bleeds
and jack off in the wind,
feeling all the power
it takes to be a general,
it takes to be a president. . ."
- Ric Ocasek, "Come Alive"

I'm sure there's tons more in this brain of mine. I'll come around a few times.

 

[rtbuck]

This song is friggin great...& strange!

Steel Grapes by Molkie Cole 1977

Mother Nature blighted me, she shorted on the peach
All the women laughed at me while reaching in the sheets

Time had passed & nothing grew I thought that all was lost
'cuz Mother Nature forgot me & hit with Killer Frost

Took all Kinds of growing pills from backs of magazines
kept on stuffing toilet paper down my old blue jeans

Gathered all my money took a boat across the sea
Doctors & electricians said they'd build a brand new me

chorus:

Now I've got,
Steel Grapes
All the man that you can handle
Steel Grapes
More than you can chew
Steel Grapes
You're burning both ends of the candle
Now it's up to you

Took a little time for me to get used to the size
all my friends they looked at me & said I's tellin' Lies

Told them how the doctors just had welded all the weight
& now I'm gonna prove it to them when I'm on a date

Took out old girl ***** Knowing she's a hard attempt
I made my ***** Happy when I exposed in the tent

All I needs a little oil to take good care of mine
Cuz all the women love the way I make that metal shine

Chorus repeat 4 times

 

[snakes&ladders]

"And it's a teenage sadness
everyone has got to taste;
an in-between age madness
that you know you can't erase
'til she's sitting on your face."
- The Knack, "Good Girls Don't"

i PREFER THE LYRICS TO kNACK'S wHAT THE LITTLE GIRLS DO, HEHEHEHE

 

[ladyislingering]

i PREFER THE LYRICS TO kNACK'S wHAT THE LITTLE GIRLS DO, HEHEHEHE

That's a little gem too. I really love the LP version of "(She's So) Selfish". It's not that watered-down, censored ******* version that's been circulated in the digital world. Down and dirty rock n' roll.

Also really love "Mr. Handleman", especially for the lines . . .

"She's pretty pretty like a woman in [her] prime,
no, you won't need a water bed to have a good time."

(though those lyrics are probably flawed, I didn't even bother to look them up.)

 

[Mr. Shadow]

Scream Thy Last Scream (Old Woman with a Casket)
(Transcribed by Stephen Schneider at 1/5 slowed down for accuracy.)

Scream thy last scream old woman with a casket
Blam blam your pointers point your pointers
Waddle with apples to grouchy Mrs. Stores
She’ll be scrubbing bubbles on all fours

Scream thy last scream old woman with a casket
Fling your arms madly old lady with a daughter
Flat top top houses, mouses, houses
Victim a victim of sitting fat flat

Watching the telly til all hours, silly child
Fling your arms madly old lady with a daughter
(During Instrumental part)
Oh, sock it to me....

Scream thy last scream old woman with a casket
Blam blam your pointers point your pointers
Waddle with apples to grouchy Mrs. Stores
She’ll be scrubbing bubbles on all fours

Scream thy last scream old women with a casket

Candy and a Currant Bun

Oh my, girl sitting in the sun
Go buy, candy and a currant bun
I like, to see you run Like that......
Oooh, don't talk to me
Please just **** with me
Please you know I'm feeling frail
It's true, sun shining very bright
It's you, who I'm gonna love tonight
Ice cream, taste good in the afternoon
Ice cream, taste good if you eat it soon
Oooh, don't touch me child
Please you know you drive me wild
Please you know I'm feeling frail
Don't try another cat
Don't go where other you must know why
Very very very frail
Oh my, girl sitting in the sun
Go buy, candy and a currant bun
I like, to see you run Like that......

 

[That 70s Guy]

Alice Cooper "Formerly Warmer"

In an upstairs room, under lock and key
It's my brother, Former Lee
All the mops and brooms keep him company, Misconceived of the family

Former Lee Warmer pulls up the covers to hide in his wrinkled bed
No dreams go in, no dreams go out of the hole in his wrinkled head

Former Lee Warmer
When I hear him play in his twisted key
That's the way he calls to me
On a silver tray, I keep the master key
In every way, he depends on me

Former Lee Warmer, an old smoking jacket - holes in his satin sleeves
Candle lit puddles, arthritic fingers, yellow stained ivory keys

In an upstairs room under lock and key
It's my brother, Former Lee
And after all these years, I've never heard him speak
I wonder what he thinks of me

Former Lee Warmer peeks out the window
When he feels really brave
Former Lee Warmer waves at his father
Out in the family grave

He's flesh and blood to me
I love him brotherly
But, I don't want to be Former Lee

 

[snakes&ladders]

Uncle Syd (RIP) sure knew how to whip up some kooky lyrics alright