In your book, John, you wrote: “This isn’t the way it’s supposed to be. It’s supposed to be relaxed and fun being in a famous rock’n’roll band.” It appears that you weren’t able to enjoy your success.
John: It was just, phew, man! I used to go to the Whisky and hear Love, and I’d think: “I’m ****ing better than that drummer. Why am I not in that band? Why am in this band with this crazy guy?” I don’t feel that way at all now. I also thought I could have played in The Byrds easy, with one hand. But apparently this band has gravitas, and I’m proud to have been a part of it.
John, during the recording of the Waiting For The Sun album, you were getting headaches and stress-related rashes.
John: I had a ****ing rash for a couple of years. No stress [laughs]. That’s the weight of the demons, the elephant in the room, and nobody’s acknowledging it. I think they say that in AA. There’s elephant shit everywhere, but that’s our meal ticket. Keep it quiet. I was sick, but I was psychologically sick too. Like: “What’s going to happen to Jim? Oh ****!”
Robby, your relationship with Jim seemed rather less strained. Why do you think that was?
Robby: I don’t know. It just didn’t bother me as much as it did John, maybe. To me, it was: “Okay, this is how it’s supposed to be in a rock’n’roll band.”
When did things start to change with Jim?
Robby: As soon as we got big. Billy James, who was the guy that signed us to Columbia Records, told us: “If that guy ever gets power, look out!” [Laughs] That’s when Jim got power, when the Whisky started happening, and people started sucking up to him. There was no filter.
What was life like on the road with The Doors?
Robby: It was usually a constant worry about where Jim was. I don’t know why we worried, he always showed up for the gig. He’d just take off with anybody and take whatever drugs they had. There was a time in Amsterdam, somebody gave him a block of hashish and he just swallowed it and ended up in the hospital. That was the gig he missed.
Did you feel that the New Haven incident, in which the policeman sprayed Mace at Morrison backstage prior to the show, marked the beginning of the end?
John: I didn’t know it was the beginning of the end, but it was pretty scary. The cop pushed his buttons and he pushed them back.
Were you fearful that it might all suddenly just end?
Robby: I wasn’t. I thought: “This is pretty cool, man, the cops up on stage.”
John: Dragging him off stage and kicking the shit out of him, that was cool?
Robby: Well, I didn’t know they were going to beat the shit out of him. The audience never forgot it. It made the movie.
At one point you wanted to stop doing live shows. Why was that?
John: Jim’s alcoholism. There wasn’t any control when we played live. What was so tragic for me was we were really good live and I didn’t want to see that eroded. If he was loaded in the studio we could go home. There weren’t ten thousand people watching.
John, you were the last member of The Doors to speak with Jim, when he called you from Paris and talked about coming back to work with the band again. Given your strained relationship, were you happy for him to remain in Paris?
John: Like I said, I loved him for his creativity and I miss those words and melodies. I was also extremely worried about his health. He sounded kind of ****ed up on the phone. I was trying to see if he was loaded. A little bit.
But you would have welcomed him coming back?
John: If he had cleaned up. I love the French, but unfortunately they drink wine for breakfast.
The band’s fortunes were waning somewhat at the time of Jim’s death. Did you feel that things were beginning to fall apart?
Robby: Pretty much, yeah. That wasn’t the best time. We couldn’t really play anywhere because there was a thing called the Hall Owners Association and they had banned us pretty much from playing any of the good places.
What was your initial reaction when you got the news of Jim’s death?
Robby: I didn’t believe it at first. There were always rumours of Jim’s death. So we didn’t really believe it. We sent our manager, Bill Siddons, over to Paris to see what had happened. Then he came back and said it was all true. “Well, did you see the body?” “No.” They buried him, like, the day after. No autopsy, no nothing. We had no doubt that he had died, though.
Was there ever a sense of guilt?
John: I don’t feel guilty now, because I just did what I could then. But I’m not the same person I was then. You know this question: “Would you do it differently?” It’s like: “Yes. Hopefully I would learn from what I went through.” And: “No, because I’m proud of what we’ve done.” So yes and no to that.
Has there been a point when you’ve felt guilty, Robby?
Robby: No, not really. Because in a way Jim got what he wanted. He really was interested in death. Not that he wanted to die, but he was so curious about it. I think he really didn’t plan to live very long. I really didn’t feel bad for him. Not at all. He was not a happy camper, especially in the last days. The whole trial thing going on and all that. Everybody says: “Well, he got fat on purpose and he was trying to stop being a rock star.” I don’t think that’s true. I think he just got fat. I don’t think he liked it that much. I think he was fat and unhappy.
Why did you decide to re-form The Doors in 2002?
John: Oh ****. That’s a whole can of worms. I have another three-hundred-page diatribe on that.
Robby: Like I said, I had been doing more Doors songs in my band, and I called Ray one day and said: “Hey, we haven’t played this stuff for thirty years. Want to try it again?” Actually, we got together to do this VH1 Storytellers [in 2000], and we had different singers, and John played on that. That went very well so we decided this might work.
John: First I said: “Robby, why don’t we don’t go on tour with a bunch of singers so we don’t fall into the trap of one guy.” Which you said was a great idea, but too expensive. True. Then I got this ringing in my ears around that time – tinnitus. I couldn’t go.
Now, as you reflect back over nearly fifty years as a member of The Doors, with all the highs and lows that it’s entailed, was it all worth it?
John: Worth the struggle? Yes. Apparently. People seemed to like what we did. And Robby got a bunch of money, which is what he’s interested in.
Robby: Yes. Never a doubt.