Dude : you guys need to get yourselves a proper demo made.
I listened to your song right through twice and my initial impression is that the vocals need a fair bit of work, although the musical ideas and general musicianship were OK if a bit on the average side.
The recorded sound was the worst thing about it. I think you guys must have recorded it at rehearsal right...? I listened on high end pro-level studio headphones and could hear all the instruments but the whole thing sounds like a midrange/low end mish mash of rumbling fug and none of the instruments really sparkled through.
Other than for your own critical purposes it's really pretty pointless trying to make recordings in that kind of rehearsal environment unless you have high end recording equipment and production facilities which most of us can't afford. I certainly wouldn't advise ever offering such home made recordings as being fit for human consumption because they always give a completely wrong impression, do more harm than good, and ultimately get you nowhere.
Best advice I can give you guys is to do yourselves a huge favour and shell out some of your hard earned cash to get 2 or 3 of your songs properly recorded if you really want to impress people.
Apologies if all this sounds a bit scathing but I don't believe in giving pats on the back where there's such obvious room for improvement - if you want that kind of back patting thing go to that great time wasting website for wannabes ; Soundcloud...
More seriously though, there's no doubt you guys can all play well enough and just need some pointing in the right direction. I'm sure that with a lot of work and a decent demo you'll be able to get yourselves some gigs at the very least. At the moment though I wouldn't look any further than that as an initial goal however...
Good luck