I hate it when people say "It's just a song"

[Magic]

I was almost into this thread by the title as I thought it was a celebration of music in itself and how some don't think music is anything higher than "just a song" but I lost interest after it became about music hipster snobbishness which defies what music is about in the first place! Carry on.......

Sooty, you astound me! I had you pegged as the first person who would say that music moves your soul. It becomes a part of you.

If that is being a hipster snob, I'm guilty as charged.


Let me elaborate on my snobbishness. I'm honest enough to say there are genres of music I cannot and will not listen to, but I'm adult enough to respect that someone else might like that music. I just won't follow them down that musical path.

Would I dislike a person based solely on their musical taste?....NO. I'm not that shallow or snobbish. But what I can say, and say with honesty, is once you decide to share your life with someone, your lives will mesh together. All aspects of your lives, including your musical tastes, is shared. At some point you either accept the differences in music taste or reject them........which means you may fight over those differences.

I choose not to allow music to be a tool to create animosity in a relationship. Music taste that matches mine is a "bonus point" for a relationship. Just another thing we can share TOGETHER passionately.

Let me ask you a personal question..........how would you feel if your significant other, in setting a romantic mood, got out the candles & perfume & wine........then began playing Death metal or Hard rock ( because that is what turns them on )? Be honest! Would it kill your romantic mood?

I'm honest enough to say.....get out the Rap...and you'd kill the romance! So yes, I'm a snob.

 

[AboutAGirl]

I think there are two different questions here.

Judge people based on their music taste? Absolutely not. People like music for a million different reasons, judging people by their music is just as stupid as judging people based on race, nationality, religion, etc.

But does your significant other need to share your music taste? That's a much more reasonable question.

Music, TV, movies, books, that's pretty much my life. I can't imagine having a romantic connection with someone unless they a) share SOME of my taste, or b) share my level of passion for media (i.e. supergeek). Just a small amount of one category, or the other is enough for me.

Would I dump someone for not liking what I like? Absolutely not! I have wide enough interests that I can find common ground with just about anybody, and I can't think of anything I dislike so much it'd be a dealbreaker.

But I can definitely understand how it could be a dealbreaker for some people. If you absolutely can't stand rap, and your mate listens to nothing but rap 24/7, that'd be a pretty big annoyance for you. I don't think terminating a relationship simply on the principle that something appreciates a piece of music you don't makes any sense -- that's insane extremism. But if their musical habits annoy you, i.e. they're constantly listening to something you don't like, that becomes an issue of cohabitation and it can become a legitimate issue given certain circumstances.

 

[Cousin Johnny]

I think there are two different questions here.

Judge people based on their music taste? Absolutely not. People like music for a million different reasons, judging people by their music is just as stupid as judging people based on race, nationality, religion, etc.

I am sorry I didn't explain myself very well, I think in spanish and sometimes things are lost in translation... What I mean by "judge" people in that context is not discriminating them for liking the music they like, it's pretty obvious that that's wrong... What I meant is if we should actually take someone's music tastes as a reflection of their personality, if we can "judge" if we are going to like someone or not because of the music they like, if music is that gate to someone's soul...

I asked this because I feel that I connect deeply with the music I like, and this means that if you know about my favorite bands and you see what they all have in common and you get what I feel when listening to them... You can know me, I really believe that if someone knows how to read that information they can know more about me than reading a biography...

I didn't ask anything about my significant other, I only mentioned my fiancee because I got annoyed by the comment of "it's just a song", not because of the bands she likes... That's a different subject, but I believe that you can get along just fine with someone that doesn't share all your tastes in music as long as you agree to some terms.

So in the end it was only one question: Why is a song more than "just a song"? and that's all.

The thing about it being attatched to someone's personality was only my interpretation of the "why" and the thing with my fiancee just the reason why I started thinking of this, that's all.

 

[Magic]

Why is a song more than just a song? The answer is complicated. There is no clear cut answer for those who are VERY passionate about the music they like. It is hard for them to explain why a song moves them emotionally and becomes a part of their life. IMHO, it is because we identify with the song.

For some, music isn't an integral part of their life. However, that person may be very passionate for films. They identify with the actors and movie plots. They can recite who starred in movies, who produced movies, etc. The movie industry becomes a part of them and their personality. That person will have more "chemistry" with people who share their passion. This is just a fact of human nature.

Human nature explains a lot but maybe our attachment to music (or anything else) can be better explained by human nurture. We are what we grow up with.

I grew up with music, hence my attachment. I will always be attracted to people who share my passion for music........

 

[AboutAGirl]

Ah, I understand now. Sorry for the misunderstanding, Johnny.

Why is a song more than just a song? I can't answer for people who are more well-adjusted than me. But for me a song can be more than a song because music, along with TV, film, and literature, is how I define myself as a person, how I express myself, and how I connect with the world on a deeper level.

 

[Soot and Stars]

Sooty, you astound me! I had you pegged as the first person who would say that music moves your soul. It becomes a part of you.

If that is being a hipster snob, I'm guilty as charged.


Let me elaborate on my snobbishness. I'm honest enough to say there are genres of music I cannot and will not listen to, but I'm adult enough to respect that someone else might like that music. I just won't follow them down that musical path.

Would I dislike a person based solely on their musical taste?....NO. I'm not that shallow or snobbish. But what I can say, and say with honesty, is once you decide to share your life with someone, your lives will mesh together. All aspects of your lives, including your musical tastes, is shared. At some point you either accept the differences in music taste or reject them........which means you may fight over those differences.

I choose not to allow music to be a tool to create animosity in a relationship. Music taste that matches mine is a "bonus point" for a relationship. Just another thing we can share TOGETHER passionately.

Let me ask you a personal question..........how would you feel if your significant other, in setting a romantic mood, got out the candles & perfume & wine........then began playing Death metal or Hard rock ( because that is what turns them on )? Be honest! Would it kill your romantic mood?

I'm honest enough to say.....get out the Rap...and you'd kill the romance! So yes, I'm a snob.

In a relationship I'm the type who'll want somebody who's passionate about something other than me and in that sense whatever differences we have we'll have a healthy amount of space to enjoy them on our own still. Plus, as a compromise I'm willing to open up to the others taste if they are as open as I am. In the death metal/hard rock scenario well I guess it would tell me what kind of loving they wanted that night!

 

[Johnny-Too-Good]

Back in the '70s and early '80s when I was playing Floyd, Zep and Sabbath full blast at 3am, I was under the impression that my wife loved it as much as me. How wrong can a guy be? - She was just going along with things. It turns out Elvis is her bag in reality (But we still get along great...and that is the point).

 

[Jet]

I have always loved music. If it was a day where my friends could not come over, I was okay because I just sat in my room and played music. At first I liked the Beatles because they were cute and funny. I was too young to understand the complexity of a lot of their songs. That comes with wisdom, and I don’t believe wisdom can be taught. My favourite song is a Beatle song, The Long And Winding Road. There are days when I feel melancholy when I hear it and days that it makes me remember happy times in my life. When I first heard The Long And Winding Road, I felt it in my soul and spirit. I like a lot of songs for different reasons and I agree with what Magic said, “We identify with the song.”

I also feel that I identify with different songs for different reasons. I remember when I first heard All I Wanna Do, by Sheryl Crow. That song just grabbed me, made me want to dance around the room and as I heard it again, I particularly liked the lyrics:

Hit it!
This ain't no disco
It ain't no country club either
This is LA!

"All I wanna do is have a little fun before I die,"
Says the man next to me out of nowhere
It's apropos
Of nothing
He says his name's William but I'm sure,
He's Bill or Billy or Mac or Buddy
And he's plain ugly to me
And I wonder if he's ever had a day of fun in his whole
life
We are drinking beer at noon on Tuesday
In a bar that faces a giant car wash
The good people of the world are washing their cars
On their lunch break, hosing and scrubbing
As best they can in skirts in suits

They drive their shiny Datsuns and Buicks
Back to the phone company, the record store too
Well, they're nothing like Billy and me, cause

All I wanna do is have some fun
I got a feeling I'm not the only one
All I wanna do is have some fun
I got a feeling I'm not the only one
All I wanna do is have some fun
Until the sun comes up over Santa Monica Boulevard

I like a good beer buzz early in the morning
And Billy likes to peel the labels
From his bottles of Bud
He shreds them on the bar
Then he lights every match in an oversized pack
Letting each one burn down to his thick fingers
before blowing and cursing them out
And he's watching the bottles of Bud as they spin on
the floor

And a happy couple enters the bar
Dangerously close to one another
The bartender looks up from his want ads

Otherwise the bar is ours,
The day and the night and the car wash too
The matches and the Buds and the clean and dirty
cars
The sun and the moon but…

​

I cannot list all the songs I like and identify with. But I know that because I’ve been through some tough times in my life, that I understand Miss Misery, By Elliot Smith. No one has to explain the song to me. I know that when I hear Cool Change, by The Little River Band, sometimes I just want to get up and run away from all the prosaic and smothering feelings of everyday life. For me, sometimes the reason I like a song are more complex than others. I just like the way Cat Stevens’ voice just drops in Wild World:

I'll always remember you like a child, girl​

I feel that down my spine. I never think a song is just s song. Like Magic, there are some genres I just don’t like, but I know that somewhere, someone does not like what I like. Lyrics that I think are clever, powerful, or deep, might not mean the same thing to somebody else. In the end, I just feel and think that music and songs are just too powerful, in my opinion, to ever be thought of as “just a song.”

 

[Lynch]

If that is being a hipster snob, I'm guilty as charged.

 

[Vehicle]

The only time I think about throwing my husband away over music is when we are in the car together. He keeps changing the station when he drives, so we end up listening to about 1/4 of every song. (Drives me nuts!) When I drive, he is not allowed to touch the radio.

You have to take a stand. "If I have to pull this car over, it won't end well for you."

My husband claims it makes me drive too fast and he calls me Danica Patrick

Well, what's wrong with that?

Back to the topic....

The Missus is 4 years older than me. Not a big gap, people wise, but a chasm in one particular musical instance.

When KISS exploded, I was 13-14, and they were my first true musical love.

At the same time, she was 18, and already had deep roots with Zep, Grand Funk, Elton John, Floyd, Wings, Aero, etc. To her, KISS was (and still is) a bubble gum band.

Those 4 years, at that particular time in music, is our own two person generation gap.

It's never really been an issue, though. We have enough common ground, musically, that there's never a problem choosing what to listen to when we travel.

Actually, I know 10x more music than her, and every once in a while she'll say "I need new music for my car."

I'll burn her 4-5 cds, and she always seems mystified by the songs I choose.

Not in a bad way, though. She always loves the cds and says "What made you think of that song? I haven't heard that in 20 years!"

My answer is always the same. Shoulder shrug, "I dunno. I love music."


As far as not being with someone because of what they listen to, that's a bit extreme.

If something as trivial as their musical tastes would end a relationship, that relationship was doomed anyway.

Music is important to me, but not more important than the Missus.

If that was the case, I'd have run for my life the first time she put on ZZ Top.

Or as I call them... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Top.