^^I have some sympathy for you Squidbilly, but also respect a few of our best members are in the same boat as yourself, they peck away and manage to get their thoughts across eventually.
However if anyone took a month or two and applied themselves to the task of becoming comfortable on the keyboard it's rather easy, a matter of memory and repetition and you are set for life.
Speech recognition seemed like a credible alternative years ago but it never seemed to catch on. And even if it did you would still be editing what you said to get it right anyway. My brother was messing around with it back in the early 90's but it was primitive.