ust an update on my Grammy for everyone. In respect for my families privacy I'll just say it hasn't all been roses news wise but overall there's a lot of blessings right now. Grammy is in a home much closer to me in Franconia so it'll be a lot easier for me to see her. She's gotten a lot better and her arrangement is far homier than the hospital obviously. I had a great start to our visit as she recognized me without hesitation. The best part was when she told me with confidence she remembered our last visit. I believed her. Things were going great as it's the first time her voice came in completely and we could have full lucid conversation....when she was lucid. She talked about how "He loves music." He being me and i had to remind her "That's me! I right here!"
Alzheimers I believe has been pushed forward by her sickness. Not a complete overhaul like she forgets me or where she is but just confusion and short term memory or her agreeing about remembering things in a way that gives you doubt. It was more prevalent in the second hour of the visit than the first. She'd think she'd see a family member like Grandpa or one of my cousins walking by.
A positive is that she has the best roommate she could have. There's a spritely 84 year old woman that's full of life. Granted she's on a walker but when she first got there a year and a half ago it was also due too a heart failure and renal too boot. She was confined to a wheelchair. I first helped the lady out by moving things out of her way and she started talking to us and giving Grammy and I some great stories about her husband who she had shared a marriage of 64 years before he passed. Grammy and her bonded on how the best men were taken and she said "No offense!" LOL Best part is she told Grammy that with rehab she would grow to accomplish all these things that she can't do. Living proof was standing in front of me and Grammy. If anything that confidence and faith is need now.
She threatened to give Grammy a whooping if she didn't stay in bed and behave. Grammy laughed at that quite a bit and loved this new friend.
That wasn't enough to keep her in bed. The most awkward part was Grammy physically trying to get out of bed and me trying to hold her legs up so she couldn't do it. I pushed the button for nurses and it didn't work so here's Grammy slid all the way on the edge trying to stop me from preventing her escape as i told her she'd eventually be ready but not yet. I didn't feel comfortable moving her beyond sliding her legs back up and I really wanted the damn nurses. LOL It would have lost any element of humor if Grammy wasn't so good natured yet stubborn about trying to get up. She wasn't angry as she's never really showed me anger in my life even though we've squabbled. This was one of those squabbles. "Now Bryan, why can't I get out of bed? I'm sick of being lazy."
Finally the nurse came and put Grammy in a chair so we could be in the public room. Sitting out there was peaceful but eventually the conversation died down. I feel so bad and it's harder without others to bounce off of. I just don't know what to say when she gets quiet and has a hard time relating to what I have to say. Being in the company of your grandparents is always going to have to be a stretch of conversation and you remedy that by doing things together, sharing things and discussing loved ones, etc. I can relate to how people feel uncomfortable at funerals or during that stage where that person isn't at their best. When you know that person is struggling themselves and you feel there's nothing you can say to change things for them. It can be the worst feeling. My visit was bittersweet in a lot of ways but not regretted at all.
There were positives! I smiled, she smiled, I laughed, she laughed, she remembered, she forgot.... It's probably going to be similar down this road. There were a couple of things we both chuckled at that you shouldn't at a nursing home like the woman belting out about being let in the bathroom after being told someone else was in there a thousand times. Then there was the woman who kept saying "Hello" and sounded like a parrot. Then there was what was actually sweet with a woman in good pitch actually who was singing "You Are My Sunshine" particularly well word for word as the rest hummed with her. Honestly, the woman's mind seemed to be the furthest gone but she seemed the happiest.
So when I finally went I told Grammy I'd be back and she said "Well don't come back too often!" She said it in a sarcastic way which I think she was joking about when i said you are probably going to get sick of me. LOL The nurse laughed too. I know Grammy didn't mean it as she gave me a nice kiss on the cheek and said "I love you!" back. The ride home was weird as I was both teary eyed and laughing to myself like a madman. A lot of mixed emotions for sure.
