Who'd make a song about that!

[Tray73]

I was listening to Aerial by Kate Bush the other day and on the album is a track about a man obsessed with Pi, a song which has Kate reciting Pi to 150 decimal places - can't think of many that would get away with singing a long list of numbers but Kate makes it work Anyhow the song gave me the idea for this thread



Sweet and gentle sensitive man
With an obsessive nature and deep fascination
For numbers
And a complete infatuation with the calculation
Of PI

Oh he love, he love, he love
He does love his numbers
And they run, they run, they run him
In a great big circle
In a circle of infinity

3.1415926535 897932
3846 264 338 3279

Oh he love, he love, he love
He does love his numbers
And they run, they run, they run him
In a great big circle
In a circle of infinity
But he must, he must, he must
Put a number to it

50288419 716939937510
582319749 44 59230781
6406286208 821 4808651 32

Oh he love, he love, he love
He does love his numbers
And they run, they run, they run him
In a great big circle
In a circle of infinity

82306647 0938446095 505 8223…




So, which songs can you think of that are about strange or unusual subjects?

 

[LG]

Here's one from Blue Oyster Cult, "Harvester of Eyes", one of the most amazing bands ever when it comes to imaginative song writing.

Harvester of eyes, that's me
And I see all there is to see
When I look inside your head
Right up front to the back of your skull

Well that's my sign that you are dead
And my list for you checks off as null
I'm the harvester of eyes

I'm the eyeman of TV
With my ocular TB
I need all the peepers I can find
Inside the barn where you find the hay

Well just last week I took a ride
So high on eyes, I almost lost my way
I'm the harvester of eyes

Harvester of eyes, that's me....harvester of eyes
And I see all there is to see...harvester of eyes
When I look inside your head....harvester of eyes
Right up front to the back of your skull....harvester of eyes


​

 

[aeroplane]

A fine idea.

We have a thread on CRF right now which suggests Van Halen has recorded a song about film actor Roy Scheider for an upcoming studio album. "Get Me Roy Scheider" to be exact.

Here is the source of this lunacy:

http://www.classicrockforums.com/forum/f53/van-halens-new-record-step-aside-17012/

I look forward to Eddie Van Halen's riffs mimicking the Jaws theme and DLR singing lyrics such as "Smile, you son of a bitch."

I also look forward to the music video containing scenes of a plastic shark blowing up, hopefully while Wolfgang Van Halen is riding on the back of it, which may help expedite Michael Anthony's return to Van Halen.

 

[aeroplane]

As a young kid growing up in the mid-to-late 80's who had yet to receive a birds and the bees talk, at one time I was also confused as to why a band would record a song such as Pour Some Sugar On Me.

Taking most things very literally back in those pre-teen days, I saw it as a major waste of food and a pretty weird habit.

 

[Death on Credit]

After a long and careful study of the lyrics, I've come to believe that Bob Dylan's 'Ballad of a Thin Man' is about masturbating in front of a mirror.

You walk into the room
With your pencil in your hand
You see somebody naked
And you say, “Who is that man?”
You try so hard
But you don’t understand
Just what you’ll say
When you get home

Because something is happening here
But you don’t know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

You raise up your head
And you ask, “Is this where it is?”
And somebody points to you and says
“It’s his”
And you say, “What’s mine?”
And somebody else says, “Where what is?”
And you say, “Oh my God
Am I here all alone?”

Because something is happening here
But you don’t know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

You hand in your ticket
And you go watch the geek
Who immediately walks up to you
When he hears you speak
And says, “How does it feel
To be such a freak?”
And you say, “Impossible”
As he hands you a bone

Because something is happening here
But you don’t know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

You have many contacts
Among the lumberjacks
To get you facts
When someone attacks your imagination
But nobody has any respect
Anyway they already expect you
To just give a check
To tax-deductible charity organizations

You’ve been with the professors
And they’ve all liked your looks
With great lawyers you have
Discussed lepers and crooks
You’ve been through all of
F. Scott Fitzgerald’s books
You’re very well read
It’s well known

Because something is happening here
But you don’t know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

Well, the sword swallower, he comes up to you
And then he kneels
He crosses himself
And then he clicks his high heels
And without further notice
He asks you how it feels
And he says, “Here is your throat back
Thanks for the loan”

Because something is happening here
But you don’t know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

Now you see this one-eyed midget
Shouting the word “NOW”
And you say, “For what reason?”
And he says, “How?”
And you say, “What does this mean?”
And he screams back, “You’re a cow
Give me some milk
Or else go home”

Because something is happening here
But you don’t know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

Well, you walk into the room
Like a camel and then you frown
You put your eyes in your pocket
And your nose on the ground
There ought to be a law
Against you comin’ around
You should be made
To wear earphones

Because something is happening here
But you don’t know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

 

[Nololob]

Can you tell what's on my mind?
She's with him, it drives me wild
I'd like to hit him on the head
until he's dead
The sight of blood is such a high
Ooh, hoo, hoo, hoo
He gives me head

We made it on a ballroom blitz
I took his arm and kissed his lips
He looked at me with such a smile
my face turned red
We booked a room into the Ritz
Ooh, hoo, hoo, hoo
He gives me head

Chorus

Jet boy, jet girl
Gonna take you 'round the world
Jet boy I'm gonna make him penetrate
I'm gonna make you be a girl
Ooh, hoo, hoo, hoo
Jet boy jet girl

And though I'm only just fifteen
I like to kick, I like to scream
And even if I have a kick or two in bed
When I'm with him it's just a dream
Ooh, hoo, hoo, hoo
He gives me head

Chorus

The other day, what a surprise
I saw him with some other guys
God he was dressed up
with a girl around his neck
I could have cried with both my eyes
Ooh, hoo, hoo, hoo
He gave me head

And if or when I make it through
Or if my brain is stuck on glue
And when the world tries to forget
all that I've said
I'll still remember you
Ooh, hoo, hoo, hoo
You gave me head

Chorus

​

 

[ladyislingering]

I'm going to use Sparks as a reference, due to their knack for writing songs about extremely weird things.

in chronological order:

"Fa La Fa Lee" (incest.)
"Biology 2" (sex and bastard children)
"Girl from Germany" (German girl meets Jewish boy's parents)
"Here Comes Bob" (Guy meets chicks by crashing into their cars.)
"Whippings and Apologies" (upbeat song about domestic abuse.)
"Here in Heaven" (Romeo suicides and Juliet doesn't follow.)
"Hasta Mañana, Monsieur" (Guy wants to bone chick but can't speak her language.)
"Talent is an Asset" (Albert Einstein's childhood.)
"Equator" (Girl tells guy he'll meet him there, so he walks all the way to the equator bearing gifts to find he's been stood up.)
"Barbecutie" (cannibalism)
"B.C." (Guy feels discarded by wife after birth of child.)
"Something for the Girl With Everything" (Guy fails at impressing girl who cannot be impressed.)
"Thanks But No Thanks" (Pedophiles.)
"Bon Voyage" (Noah's ark from animals' point of view.)
"Happy Hunting Ground" (Twentysomething wants to go back to high school, where the girls are in better form.)
"Without Using Hands" (Explosion at a formal dinner party.)
"Under the Table With Her" (Guy starts a little hanky-panky with rich man's daughter under the dinner table.)
"Pineapple" (uh, pineapples. duh.)
"Tits" (Guy tries to get his friend to admit he's been screwing his wife, while drinking him under the table.)
"Profile" (Guy is frustrated because girl refuses to make eye contact with him.)
"I Bought the Mississippi River" (Guy buys river and can't decide if he's made the right decision.)
"White Women" (Guy prefers white women, even if "their skin's passe".)
"I Like Girls" (Guy openly says he prefers girls so his friends won't think he's *****.)
"A Big Surprise" (Guy looks forward to coercing girl into sex but plans to act surprised.)
"Tryouts for the Human Race" (*****.)
"Beat the Clock" (Guy aims to do everything possible before death.)
"Just Because You Love Me" (A man's excuse for why his girlfriend should have sex with him.)
"Young Girls" (**********.)
"Tips for Teens" (Key facts every young person should know.)
"Funny Face" (Guy wishes he could be ugly so people would take him seriously.)
"Upstairs" (the id (Freud's explanation for your dirtiest fantasies)).
"I Married a Martian" (Guy marries martian, but at least the sex is great.)
"Don't Shoot Me" (Rhino vs hunter.)
"Angst in My Pants" (That pesky random erection.)
"I Predict" (Ron Mael's ode to the National Enquirer.)
"Nicotina" (personification of a cigarette)
"Moustache" (Ron Mael's ode to his moustache.)
"Instant Weight Loss" (Guy loses all his pounds by having tons of sex.)
"All You Ever Think About is Sex" (Guy lists places he's screwed his girlfriend and then blames it all on her.)
"I Wish I Looked a Little Better" (the story of my life.)
"Dance Goddammit" (Guy tries to persuade his feet into dancing so he can impress the ladies.)
"Pretending to Be Drunk" (Guy pretends to be drunk to seem interesting to people he just met.)
"Now That I Own the BBC" (Guy wins the BBC at an auction and has no idea what to do with it.)
"I Married Myself" (Guy marries himself to be happy for the rest of his life.)
"Ugly Guys With Beautiful Girls" (Guy wonders how an ugly guy can get such a beautiful girl.)
"Suburban Homeboy" (Wiggers, or wanksters.)
"Dick Around" (Guy has extreme expectations for his future but he's just sitting on his ass doing nothing.)
"Perfume" (Guy loves girl 'cause she doesn't wear it.)
"Here Kitty" (Guy steals hearts by rescuing kitties.)
"I Can't Believe That You Would Fall for All the Crap in this Song" (An extreme look at popular love songs.)
"Let the Monkey Drive" (Couple wants to get funky in the backseat, so they put their pet monkey at the wheel.)
"I've Never Been High" (Guy wonders how different his life would be if he'd regularly smoked weed.)
"(She Got Me) Pregnant" (Guy gets pregnant, girl runs off.)
"Lighten Up, Morrissey" (Guy's love interest is too obsessed with Morrissey and he's had enough of it.)
"Brenda's Always in the Way" (title speaks for itself.)

...I'd like to call that a Spark plug.

 

[Sunny]

^^^^^^ That is so good

 

[Tray73]

Cool, interesting seeing all these, thanks for sharing!

LiL that is one impressive list and I'll have to check a few of those out, such surreal imaginations the Brother's Mael obviously have, some of those sound plain bizarre to downright hilarious! I think I'm definitely missing out only having heard a couple of their songs!!


Here's a band I used to listen to a lot in the 90's, Mansun, with a song about a stripping vicar...



Stripper Vicar

Dear Mavis I'm compelled to write this letter
In the hope that you may soon be getting better
I've a feeling you should go and see a doctor
If you haven't then you know you really oughta
I was worried so I went to see the vicar
But before I could confess he first confessed to be a stripper

Dear Mavis it was very strange to see him
So I thought I'd write and ask your opinion
Should I grass on him, report him to the cardinal
Or wether I should egg him on to turn professional
If I dob on him they'll call him plastic scouser
But the only thing the stripper wears is plastic trousers

Mavis' opinion is all we really seek
Mavis' opinion is all we

Should we lie while he's still alive
Should we lie while he's still alive
'Cos when the vicar strips he gets away with it

Dear Mavis thought I'd follow up my letter
Drop a line about the fate of our poor vicar
Very tragically his time on earth is ended
Found him gagged and bound in stockings and suspenders
Dear Mavis if you tell us what our thoughts are
And I hope that they're not biased 'cos you are the vicar's daughter

Mavis' opinion is all we really seek
Mavis' opinion is all we

Should we lie now that he has died
Should we lie now that he has died
'Cos when the vicar strips he gets away with it

And we know him as our vicar
And by night a part-time stripper
And the vicar got suspended
In his stockings and suspenders
And he's making wine from water
While he dresses like his daughter
And we know that he's a rip off
'Cos we've seen him with his kit off

Should we lie now that he has died
Should we lie now that he has died
'Cos when the vicar strips he gets away with it

 

[Sunny]

^^^^^^ Hilarious lyrics