mrJim
Senior Member
Thread Closed What Are You Listening To?
- Thread starter TeleCat
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Black Dahlia
A Seasoned Witch
"Normal" Porcupine Tree (2007)
... I´ve got it all but you can see through me.
... I´ve got it all but you can see through me.
TheSound
An Englishman in New York
Hey Vehicle, I especially like the way you have your 'History of Kiss' encyclopedia right up there in your science and World War section, and filed alongside the History of the NASA Space Agency, I don't know why I just think it looks funny!
Soot and Stars
I AM SOOT!
My mind has been racing concerning my grandparents. My grandmother has the early to mid stages of Dementia and my Grandfather has shown the first signs of weakness and low moral I've ever seen in him after not being able to handle his new insulin. He's been taken to the hospital multiple times recently including the emergency room as a result. He's admitted he can't function and take care of himself anymore. My Grandmothers demeanor as a result of her Dementia has become irrational and even hateful. Neither one of them is the same person. I understand this and even though it was inevitable I was not prepared for how suddenly it all seems to be happening. I feel helpless. My grandmothers made threats of what she would do if she had to leave the house. I don't know what the outcome will or has to be but I know they deserve better than this. I wrote this out as it helps me deal with things:
"Grandma, I know you aren't the same person right now that I grew up with though some of you still is. I know your face will still light up when you see me and it's the most humbling feeling in the world. I know you are angry, irrational and sometimes full of hate but it's not your fault. I know your memory is fading more and more and I will have to hold back tears someday when I visit and you don't have that gleam in your eye because you no longer recognize me. You've always had us grand kids on a pedestal even when we didn't warrant it at times and you still do. I believe you always will. I don't think there's anyone who could make me feel as valued and wanted as you and grandpa can and how much that got me through my darkest times of low self worth and loneliness. You were my foundation in my formative years and remained my constant since then. To be so treasured is humbling so even though I could never say this to you personally it's my goal to keep you on a pedestal unconditionally and only carry the image of the sweetest woman I know no matter what you do or how you act. You've done it for me so it's the least I can do for you.
Grandpa, you've always been the strongest willed, most charismatic figure and a rock solid foundation in my life. You are the element that encouraged adventure, a kinship with nature, the value of a good story, a hearty laugh and a love of those around you. You've kept a unheard of strength, goodhearted nature and a natural ability as a leader all the way up to recent years until know showing me a vulnerability I've never seen before. I can't lie. I haven't known what to say when I ask how you are doing and you say "Not good Bryan!" Those words never came out of your mouth in all the time I've known you. You seem to have lost faith and it was always you who gave it to me because you had plenty to spare. I know things have turned around for you Grandpa but I want to make it a goal to be around and instill some hope and confidence back into your life. You've done that for me and it's insurmountable how much I owe you.
I love you guys and I will cherish the time I still have with you and help do my part to keep the foundation that you guys laid for us standing strong for as long as I can."
"Grandma, I know you aren't the same person right now that I grew up with though some of you still is. I know your face will still light up when you see me and it's the most humbling feeling in the world. I know you are angry, irrational and sometimes full of hate but it's not your fault. I know your memory is fading more and more and I will have to hold back tears someday when I visit and you don't have that gleam in your eye because you no longer recognize me. You've always had us grand kids on a pedestal even when we didn't warrant it at times and you still do. I believe you always will. I don't think there's anyone who could make me feel as valued and wanted as you and grandpa can and how much that got me through my darkest times of low self worth and loneliness. You were my foundation in my formative years and remained my constant since then. To be so treasured is humbling so even though I could never say this to you personally it's my goal to keep you on a pedestal unconditionally and only carry the image of the sweetest woman I know no matter what you do or how you act. You've done it for me so it's the least I can do for you.
Grandpa, you've always been the strongest willed, most charismatic figure and a rock solid foundation in my life. You are the element that encouraged adventure, a kinship with nature, the value of a good story, a hearty laugh and a love of those around you. You've kept a unheard of strength, goodhearted nature and a natural ability as a leader all the way up to recent years until know showing me a vulnerability I've never seen before. I can't lie. I haven't known what to say when I ask how you are doing and you say "Not good Bryan!" Those words never came out of your mouth in all the time I've known you. You seem to have lost faith and it was always you who gave it to me because you had plenty to spare. I know things have turned around for you Grandpa but I want to make it a goal to be around and instill some hope and confidence back into your life. You've done that for me and it's insurmountable how much I owe you.
I love you guys and I will cherish the time I still have with you and help do my part to keep the foundation that you guys laid for us standing strong for as long as I can."
Not bitterly cold, about -15 Celsius this morning, in another snow cycle but just small amounts of powder falling over the next 4 days. Off to shovel in a few minutes, but they did at least clear the streets a few days ago so this lot won't be too bad to deal with when you are driving.
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