Next on Channel 52, it's VH Idol!!!
The Van Halen routine has become so stale and predictable that I should manage the band and also their news.
Typical Van Halen news cycle over a period of 18-24 months, give or take.
#1. Months of inactivity, followed by rumors that Eddie is "talking" with Dave or Sam.
#2. Months of inactivity, followed by rumors that Van Halen "have already written 5-6 songs which sound
just like the old Roth stuff" and on the songs it is "the best playing Eddie has done in 20 years!"
#3. More inactivity followed by vague rumors of "doing an album later in the year and touring the world next spring."
#4. Some more inactivity followed by news that "the reunion fell apart and the guys tried really hard but just couldn't pull it together." If the news leaks out of the Van Halen camp, this is usually followed by a paragraph about how things went south when either Dave or Sam "became unreasonable and difficult for the brothers to work with." If the news leaks from outside the Van Halen camp, this is usually followed by a paragraph about EVH having a relapse and being forced to take time off of working.
#5. Rinse and repeat.
As a fan, I'd be relieved if Eddie could just show some signs of life by thinking outside the box. Hell, EVH ought to bring someone ridiculous and completely unexpected such as Mike Reno of Loverboy or Mickey Thomas of Starship into Van Halen just to show people that the wheels upstairs are still turning and that he is still capable of doing something unpredictable.