Evil Genie....

**Shaggy** · 08-21-2005, 12:20 AM

The idea is basically that poster A asks the evil genie to grant a wish.

Poster B grants the wish, then makes one of his/her own.

Of course there is a catch

The genie always grants the wish, but with an evil twist

Example

Post A - I wish it would rain today

---------------------------------------

Post B - Granted, but it rains so much, your house is washed away, and you end up living under a bridge.

I wish I had a million dollars

---------------------------------------------

Post C - Granted, but the money comes out of a mobsters bank account, and he sends several large men to visit you

I wish.....etc

-------------------------------------------------

So first wish....

I wish I was in a famous rock band!!

cnbpjb · 08-21-2005, 10:04 AM

Granted, but you lose your voice the moment you try to sing.

I wish that I was 75 lbs lighter, than I am currently.

willg54 · 08-21-2005, 10:36 AM

Granted, cnbpjb, you are now slim and trim
and all the beautiful women crave your sexy body,
but while on a vacation cruise in the Pacific,
your ship goes down, you swim to the nearest island,
and the only other survivor is a big, 400 pound woman
with hair on her back. You will live out the rest
of your days on this island,
with your new lifetime companion and lover, Gertrude . . .

My wish is to live up in the mountains . . .

cnbpjb · 08-21-2005, 03:53 PM

Granted willg, but when you get to the mountain you find out there is a fire-breathing dragon (and it's not your former mother-in-law

) is also living inside the mountains and unfortunately there is no hobbitts around named Bilbo or Frodo to help you fight the dragon. So for the rest of your days you have to fight that dragon using nothing but kitchen knifes!

Okay here is my next wish, curtesy of evil genie willg:

I wish to have Gertrude turned into a very cute Asian woman who is only 120 lbs and wears bikinis very well.

willg54 · 08-21-2005, 11:17 PM

Granted, cnbpjb, but as she grows older,
she gains 280 more pounds (do the math . . .ha ha )
and she starts to look like her uncle, Yoda, and
starts saying stuff like, "Heavy, I am."
"Hungry I shall be, after this next burger."
ha ha ha, have fun cnb . . .

my next wish is that I will win a million, and I can hire people to do ALL my yardwork, cooking, housekeeping, etc. And, my live in maid is a beauty and loves me to death.

Martha Washington · 08-23-2005, 07:02 PM

your wish is granted.
enjoy yourself because just as you think you are in Paradise Hurricane Martha will come and blow your house and your millions away.

You REALLY should have put that stuff in the bank!!

Oh Mighty Genie, I wish for a beautiful old fashioned wedding with my sweetheart - a 400 pound Yoda Impersonator.

cnbpjb · 08-23-2005, 08:37 PM

Granted, but you will have heavy rain and thunderstorms, and all your guests will be wet and a few will be struck by lightening, on your wedding day and the bride will die, after the preacher says, "I now pronounce you man and wife." and then well you are kissing her he keels over from a bolt of lightening. (Hope she has a hefty bank account and you signed a pre-nuptial.)

Oh Genie, get me off that darn island and away from that big fat old woman, and then transport me, still skinny, with a million dollars and near a great acting studio, thanks.

Martha Washington · 08-23-2005, 09:18 PM

granted!
please notice the compulsory Scientology recruitment desk to your right!

Oh mighty Genie, I wish I could play the guitar like Jimmy Page!

cnbpjb · 08-23-2005, 10:59 PM

But when you first plug in that guitar you get electrocuted.

Dear Genie, as an actor make me one that refuses that Scientology clause and while your at it hooked me up with either actress Nicole Kidman (the dippy Scientologist actor's ex-; who disagreed with him) or the other actor's ex-; the actress named, Jennifer Anniston (she might need more comforting now).

**Shaggy** · 08-23-2005, 11:02 PM

Granted, but the genie thought you meant Jimmy Paige of nowhereville, Maine who can't play a lick of guitar! :p

I wish I was a Rich Basketball star!!

Martha Washington · 08-23-2005, 11:06 PM

POOF!
You're a rich basketball star!
your name is CSVRATRES and you are the highest payed athelete in Lower Slohofistan.
you are paid 9 million greckels a year. unfortunately, the greckel isn't very strong right now and Lower Solohfistan is mostly underwater!

Oh Genie, I wish my dog pooped 50 dollar bills instead of dog poop!!

cnbpjb · 08-24-2005, 06:48 AM

POOF!!!

Your doggie poops $50. bills. But you still have to contend with laws that say you have to pick up after your doggie. So when you have to take that shovel with you, you hit your head with the shovel and you get knocked out and end up in the hospital with a concussion, which some doctor misdiagnoses as a brain tumor and you have to have an operation, plus you have no insurance.

Dear Genie, you overlooked my wish to be an actor who knows better than to be involved with Scientology. And furthermore to be involved romantically with either Nicole Kidman (who disagreed with her ex- on Scientology) or Jennifer Anniston (who probably needs more comforting right now and who also has a stupid ex-).

Martha Washington · 08-24-2005, 06:40 PM

POOF!
you are now the star of the hit new FOX Reality series cnpjb and jennifer!
America loves watching Jennifer nurse you back to health after that Piano fell on you just before you got to first base with her.

Martha Washington · 08-24-2005, 06:41 PM

by the way Genie,

how about a nice big bowl of Popcorn?

cnbpjb · 08-24-2005, 08:13 PM

Actually that's kind of nice about the reality show with Jennifer, but the piano bit is sooooooo overdone (of course the piano might suffer worse damage if it fell on me

).

POOF!!!

There is that nice large bowl of popcorn you asked for, be careful though of the charcoal flavored popcorn near the bottom.

Hey Genie, how about some non-fattening chocolate ice-cream and non-fattening chocolate chip cookies?