Child-rearing in gender-neutral environments. - Page 3

ladyislingering · 06-27-2010, 01:01 AM

Originally Posted by Sunny

For goodness sake I'm a nurse and 50% of nurses in the hopital are male. My male housemate is a teacher. Those professions are not gender specific. My girly twin sister is civil engineer.

I know these things. (:

I was raised properly but so many people around here are ignorant to the fact that men and women are totally equal.

(It's why I wasn't promoted at my old job.)

annie · 06-27-2010, 02:52 AM

Originally Posted by ladyislingering

I know these things. (:

I was raised properly but so many people around here are ignorant to the fact that men and women are totally equal.

(It's why I wasn't promoted at my old job.)

From what you have written in the past, I somehow doubt that gender was the only reason.

Salmacis · 06-27-2010, 03:24 AM

Originally Posted by TheFeldster

I'm going to have to agree with Odysseus and Sunny here.

I remember there was a small controversy here because at a primary school soccer match, one team lost 16-0. The coaches and parents refused to tell the kids involved what the score was, for fear of upsetting the losing team.

They're gonna have to learn that sooner or later, anyway, why shield them in the first place

Exactly, I was never shielded from failure as a child. When I played soccer at the age of 10, my team lost every match of the season except one, and more often than not it'd be by 20 goals or more. (The reason for this was the coach bumping us up 3 divisions too high based on the success of every other age group team in the club) But It's an experience I've taken with me, and it's helped me shape a view I've believed in and will continue to believe in - As long as I know that I've tried my best, I don't care if I win or lose, I'm happy that I performed as best I could.

ladyislingering · 06-27-2010, 04:03 AM

Originally Posted by annie

From what you have written in the past, I somehow doubt that gender was the only reason.

It was a preeeeetttyyy big reason.

You weren't there, so don't start shit in my thread that's not related to the topic at hand.

Astrid Kirchherr65 · 06-27-2010, 09:14 AM

Originally Posted by METALPRIEST

I voted Who gives a damn?

Mainly because I never really thought about it. I have a boy and a girl and my only concen has been them fighting over each other's things. "Who had it first", "Give that back", "Share"

I've seen my boy play with my daughter's dolls...my daughter wanting a toy jackhammer after my son wanting one ( we got her a smaller one she loves)...never told them (or made an issue over) what a girl or boy item was, or what supposedly belonged to who.

As far as clothes?? They both wear a variety of clothes along with a variety of colors. We never put our son in a dress..in our minds...that's up to him..as he gets older. But "boy" clothes have never been stressed, or talked about as something of great importance, nor has the topic that it's ok for boys to wear girl's clothes come up.

Those things you just have to wait on and see with no coaxing either way ...I do know this...they are my children...I love them now...and always will.

I AGREE..raising my son the same way Metal..he asked for some Barbie Dolls recently (the Twilight Saga ones) and I wonder if my X would blow a gasket lol
he's VERY VERY Homophobic ..

and I decided to #$%^ his opinion..my son was collecting them for his love of the movie and while I've seen him 'playing' with them a few times I am not worried about it..

his lifestyle is not known yet...but he seems ALL boy to me...and if he changes his life..

I love him no matter WHAT life he chooses..I'm his mother ..thats my job !

annie · 06-27-2010, 12:09 PM

Originally Posted by ladyislingering

It was a preeeeetttyyy big reason.

You weren't there, so don't start shit in my thread that's not related to the topic at hand.

I didn't start it lovely lady, I simply replied to your comment about gender discrimination, which relates to the topic at hand.

ladyislingering · 06-27-2010, 12:21 PM

In a way, but the other factors of the situation weren't relevant.

(Though I must confess the fact that I'm a snarky bitch at times probably had something to do with it.)

That's as far as I'm going on that topic. In this thread, anyway.

Flower · 06-27-2010, 12:47 PM

Originally Posted by annie

from what you have written in the past, i somehow doubt that gender was the only reason.

x2

ladyislingering · 06-27-2010, 12:48 PM

Oh brother.

Here we go again.

God, I love you two.

Flower · 06-27-2010, 01:04 PM

^^^You brought it up.

Now for the question that you didn't answer .. Should parents only give their offspring 'gender neutral' names?

ladyislingering · 06-27-2010, 01:07 PM

Not unless they really wanted to.

A name has nothing to do with it. Children aren't born with these things.

Like, how the hell would a child be able to tell the difference between "Charles" and "Charlotte"?

Flower · 06-27-2010, 01:12 PM

You might enjoy this ...

Exposing Gender Stereotypes | Lesson

Hepcat · 06-27-2010, 02:26 PM

Originally Posted by Ladyislingering

(It's why I wasn't promoted at my old job.)

You hated your job, you hated the company for which you worked and you held both your co-workers and your customers in absolute contempt. Moreover, you never even tried to keep any of those things a secret - not that it would have been possible anyway. The people that hired you weren't as stupid as you thought. Why would you not be fired?

Astrid Kirchherr65 · 06-27-2010, 05:58 PM

Originally Posted by Sunny

I agree with that in every way! It's fine to have a child grow up with self esteem but this attitude of protecting a child from failure and praising every aspect of school work and behaviour certainly shows up in later years when the grown child starts real life out in the workplace and all that praise is gone ....... the latest thing for young people to be "suffering" from these days is anxiety and depression because ...... guess what .......... life is tough and the days of pats on the head are long gone.

Apologies for de-railing the topic.

I agree with this as well Sunny..
I AS a teacher and as a mother

we are expected to say 'THATS NOT OK' to children because it's too negative to say 'no' ?

Hello !! ?? 'NO' is part of life and it would ALOT better if these kids heard it ONCE in a while..

Just not soo much it means nothing..which does happen.

Life is full of ups and downs and it's much easier to teach this and how to deal with it..then have someone think drugs,booze or self destruction is the way to deal with failure

again ..sorry to derail

AboutAGirl · 06-29-2010, 03:09 PM

I agree completely with all the "failure is a part of life" comments here. That institutionalized touchy-feely stuff is preposterous and damaging. But I don't see how we got onto that topic... it doesn't have much to do with gender neutral rearing. I think the point here is that people don't yell at their son for doing ballet instead of football, or sigh when their daughter talks about fixing cars, stuff of that nature... I wouldn't consider it touchy-feely. I would consider it being a basic, caring and controled parent. There's no reason for any parents to push their inane interests onto their children, the children will have inane interests of their own.